New high-tech toys need a dose of magic

Back in the dark ages of the mid-1990s, I was editing a story about Israel. I had a few questions and needed to reach the reporter who worked out of Jerusalem. So I picked up my phone, tapped in a few numbers and only seconds later was chatting with the writer on his cell phone as he was finishing up an evening jog to Bethlehem.

BTW, Bethlehem means house of bread! But I digress. I’ve forgotten the details of the story I was editing for that place with the printing press here in the Land of Cotton, but I still recall the sense of wonder I felt at being able to reach the reporter, dashing about on the other side of the world.

I have some vague idea how the whole communication network comes together – radio signals, cell zones, transmitters, receivers and satellite uplinks – and, well, pixie dust. Truth to tell, cell phones and other such high-tech gizmos are scientific wonders; but for me, it’s magic that makes them work!

I mention all this now, because the magic has lost its power in my little corner of the world – at least for the moment. I’ll explain.

The lovely Miss Wendy and I decided to jump into the 21st century recently. We dusted off and packaged up the ancient box televisions that had served us well for years and bought a couple of those ginormous, oh-so high-tech flat screen TVs.

Fortunately, there’s a magician in the family – that would be Josh, my son-in-law – who tossed about some pixie dust, waved his magic wand and, voila, our new TVs were up and running. Life was good!

For a week or so – and the timing was perfect – I was able to watch college bowl games and the NFL playoffs in a very up close and personal sort of way. My favorite programs were much more vivid, the color stronger, the acting sharper. Okay, the acting was pretty much the same; but everything was bigger and, for the most part, better!

All of this was playing out on regular cable; I had yet to upgrade to HD – that’s one of those new miracle thingies that provide sharper and clearer images. The new stuff had been ordered and several days ago I received all the upgraded equipment – HD boxes, a DVR, and HDMI connectors; a bit of mandrake root, toad spittle and saffron for coloring!

The family magician managed to get by over the weekend, set up the new components, tossed on a bit of pixie dust and stirred it all ever so gently. We stood by waiting for the magic to take hold and, ah, nothing! Well, actually there was something – an error code.

Josh wiggled some stuff around, tossed on some more toad spittle and waved his, ah, magic wand yet again. And, wait for it, nothing! Unfortunately, the magician and his beautiful assistant had places to go and I was left staring at a blank screen.

I knew I had no choice but to skip down the yellow brick road and actually attempt to reach the, ah, wizard. It’s a scary proposition but sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do. So I screwed my courage to the sticking place and called my cable provider.

After working my way through the obligatory phone tree, I only had to wait 10 minutes to reach the wizard. She asked a few pertinent questions, had me dash around a bit in search of serial numbers hidden away on the back of the new component parts, punched a few buttons and, wait for it, nothing – again!

It was time, the wizard suggested to jiggle a few more wires and reboot. I suggested it was time to wave a white flag and send in reinforcements. The wizard laughed and arranged for an elf techie to drop by tomorrow.

Here’s hoping he brings along lots of pixie dust, a fresh magic wand and a whole bunch of patience. Stay tuned!

Interesting, informative and really lame

I’ve waited a week to comment on NBC’s latest news magazine programming, “Rock Center with Brian Williams”. I figured I should take the time to watch at least two shows before offering up a review. Big mistake!

I imagine if NBC really supports the program while it finds its stride, we all might be speaking well of the effort a decade down the road. But, truth to tell, I’m thinking “Rock Center” is already sinking like a rock and will be a fading memory in just a few months.

That’s a shame. I like Williams and think he’s a solid journalist who manages to bring both gravitas and a light touch to the evening news. If the rumors are true, he’s also a very likable, friendly and funny guy. He’s managed to show off that side of his personality on various late night talk shows, bantering with David Letterman and Jon Stewart, and even hosting Saturday Night Live.

Williams and the producers of “Rock Center” have offered up several interesting, even compelling segments on the first two shows – sneaking into Syria to get a behind-the-scenes look at an embattled people and country; exposing a cottage industry that plays to wealthy foreigners wanting to have “anchor babies” in the U.S.; profiling a woman in North Carolina who got caught up in a morally repugnant eugenics scheme that led to her being sterilized.

Here’s the problem. The Syria segment offered no new information and felt like a stunt – hey, look at us, we can sneak into Syria! The “anchor baby” story, outrageous and infuriating, involves only a handful of people and, like the eugenics piece, didn’t go deep enough. Both would have played better on the evening news.

If handled by that other, more successful news magazine, “60 Minutes,” the segments would have been fleshed out, featured more interviews and reportage and run three times longer. All of this can be fixed. The greater problem, cutting to the chase, is Williams.

He’s got a dry sense of humor that, in the right venue, makes him likable and fun to watch. On “Rock Center” he’s simply lame. His segues into segments, commentary and interaction with correspondents seem forced and contrived. The end of the show each week is, simply put, embarrassing.

Last week Williams spent a few minutes chatting with Jon Stewart. Last night he chatted with Tina Fey. Williams ain’t Johnny Carson. The very best I can say about the conversations are that they were silly. Actually, the banter was cringe-inducing nonsense. He and Stewart discussed Halloween, beer, their kids and, ahhh, socks. The ups and downs of “The Real Housewives” franchise was the focus of his conversation with Tina.

Because there is no audience, there’s no energy in the room. The small talk just sort of hangs in the air, met by an expansive wall of utter silence. About the only sound I fear echoing in the background is the clicking of remotes, viewers in search of something – really, anything – entertaining.

On the tube: Good, bad and a really hot actress

One of my absolutely favorite ways to spend Sunday evenings is with Alicia Florrick, Will Gardner, Kalinda Sharma and all the other characters of The Good Wife. The legal drama is smart, funny and always entertaining. It also helps that the role of Alicia is played by Julianna Margulies who is seriously hot!

Occasionally the show’s writers, producers and director also get me to think. That was the case Sunday when the firm of Lockhart & Gardner took on a client who was suing the feds for really bad behavior. He was essentially kidnapped and tortured because there was the slimmest of evidence that he had ties to a terrorist group in Afghanistan.

Basic rights are ignored by the government, and the accused and his attorneys find themselves momentarily tumbling down a rabbit hole that can only be described as Kafkaesque. Justice Department lawyers refuse to offer up any information, citing national security issues. They eventually are ordered to turn over all files related to the case and send over boxes of material that have been carefully redacted.

Once upon a time, simply because I worked at a place with a printing press that bought paper by the ton and ink in barrels, I had government documents cross my desk that had been edited by censors. As often as not, the info needed by editors and reporters was clear and blacked-out portions were of little import. Not so in the lawyerly drama.

Alicia and her colleagues had to piece together what they could from the info provided while maneuvering their way carefully through a byzantine government maze filled with arrogant bureaucrats and toads – the Man run amok!

The constitutional issues raised are the stuff of headlines in recent years – suspension of habeas corpus, warrantless wire taps, enhanced interrogation. It’s all a messy business that flies in the face of all those beliefs and rights that, like Superman, define truth, justice and the American way! But I digress.

The Good Wife’s fast pace, sharp dialogue, wit and humor remind me of The West Wing, one of my all-time favorite TV dramas. The show’s ensemble cast, Josh Charles, Archie Panjabi, Christine Baranski, Matt Czuchry and Julianna – I did mention she’s hot, right? – seems to have found its stride and offers a really nice break from the mindless mess of reality TV.

Sadly, life often seems like it’s become a mindless mess. Unfortunately, our collective problems and challenges can’t be neatly wrapped up in an entertaining hour. And so it goes.

In search of a new home, life in Jerusalem

I was bored and flipping through the channels earlier this week and came across an interesting episode of House Hunters International on HGTV. It’s always fun to fantasize about having the wherewithal to make a move to some exotic locale on the other side of the world. As often as not, lovely beaches, deep blue water and majestic mountains are part of the deal on this show.

This time around, sun-bleached buildings, serpentine alleyways and ancient mysteries were the hot drawing cards, all circling about the very old and memorable city of Jerusalem. Hayley Gerszberg, living the good life with her four kids in New Jersey had decided she needed a change and Israel was where she wanted to be.

I thought this a swell adventure and enjoyed the first few minutes focusing on some of Jerusalem’s iconic sites – the Western Wall and Cardo in the old city; Mahane Yehuda, the world-class shuk, and picturesque gardens and parks in newer sections of the city.

In just five minutes, the show’s producers managed to pull together images of the ultra-Orthodox praying and soldiers enjoying free time away from, ah, soldiering; students on their way to school and seniors basking in the afternoon sun; tourists in search of memories and locals enjoying a cup of Joe at a corner café.

The show generally focuses on three properties and I figured tagging along with Hayley might give me a good idea of what real estate is worth in Jerusalem. Wrong! It turns out Hayley’s budget was a bit more than I’d have to play around with if I was in the market. She was hoping to find a place to call home that wouldn’t set her back more than, um, $2 million.

I forget the various neighborhoods that Hayley, her best friend and real estate agent visited, but they were all upscale areas, centrally located, featuring expansive green spaces, good schools, convenient shopping – and, most importantly, sun-bleached buildings and serpentine alleyways. I won’t bore you with the details – you can see the entire show yourself by clicking here – but Hayley eventually settled on a home in the German Colony, a chic and oh-so trendy community just a mile or so outside the Old City.

The house is expansive and beautiful, sort of contemporary, but filled with lots of little details – mosaic tiles, stone walls, bits of Judaica – that capture a sense of time and place. If I had $2 million hidden away somewhere, I could easily call this place home.

The program, of course, is all about the search and I was left wondering about Hayley, her kids and why she decided the time was right to make such a move. Israel can be a lovely place, but it’s a small country in a tough neighborhood. I found it interesting that even though Hayley talks about moving to Jerusalem she never says she’s making aliyah – if you’re Jewish you’ll understand my point.

I’ve had friends who’ve done the Israel thing and only managed to last a year or so. The language is tough to learn and the culture can be daunting. Without a social network, muscling your way through the bureaucracy is often a deal breaker. I imagine, given her resources, Haley can probably make a go of it just about anywhere. After all, F. Scott Fitzgerald once famously wrote that the rich are different. In this instance, I think he’s probably right.