O Canada: Wobbly cruise filled with surprises

Enjoying a few hours in Bar Harbor before entering Canadian waters.

Wendy and I, another passenger and several crew members aboard the Veendam were in an elevator, the captive audience of a fellow traveler and would-be comic.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! What do you call a cow missing two legs? Lean beef! What do you call a woman with one leg? Ilene!

Yes, the humor was lame and so was the humorist. His hands shook as he delivered his practiced one-liners and he had to maneuver his way about the ship with a walker. He wasn't alone.

There seemed to be an entire army of seniors using an assortment of devices -- motorized wheelchairs, walkers and canes -- to remain upright and moving forward. Welcome to Holland America!

For 10 days in late April and the first week of May we battled the elements and all the geriatrics as we made our way along the eastern seaboard of the U.S. The itinerary had us hopping aboard ship in Fort Lauderdale, leisurely cruising the Atlantic for two days before visiting Boston and Bar Harbor in the U.S., then Halifax and Sydney in Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, Quebec and Montreal.

Somewhere in the Maritimes as we cruise toward Prince Edward Island.

All did not go according to plan.

A medical emergency on the first full day at sea forced the captain to make a hard left toward Charleston where he managed to rendezvous with a Coast Guard helicopter to off-load an injured passenger. The ailing woman, by the way, is reportedly well on the road to recovery. Unfortunately, the Veendam was woefully off course with little chance of making up lost time quickly.

We arrived in Boston 10 hours late, had no time to get off the ship and were once again cruising north after an additional 75 passengers boarded. The next day we were six or so hours late arriving in Bar Harbor, enough time to dash into the village, snap a few photos and buy a souvenir or two!

The good news, I guess, is that we arrived in Sydney right on schedule. Sadly, the weather had turned cool and misty and there was absolutely nothing -- zip, zero zilch -- to do in the city. Lowlights included circling a mammoth fiddle at the dock and a quick visit to a nearby Tim Hortons for a donut and cup of coffee.

One of the two highlights we discovered in Sydney.

Fortunately, there was plenty to keep us busy aboard the Veendam. Meals were tasty and plentiful -- breakfast, lunch and dinner, mid-morning snacks, afternoon tea and late-evening treats. We also stayed busy working out in the ship's gym most mornings and attending cooking classes taught by a chef from America's Test Kitchen.

There was also a cornucopia of entertainers -- singers and dancers, comics and musicians -- and a piano bar that captured our attention and had us tapping our tootsies most evenings.

Sir Stryker -- yep, that's what he called himself -- was the man behind the piano belting out pop and show tunes and offering up a bit of amusing shtick that was fizzy fun and a grand way to end each day!

Meanwhile, it was drizzling when we docked in Halifax. Once ashore, Mother Nature blasted up with a triple whammy: frigid temps, blustery winds and heavy rain!

Green Gables on Prince Edward Island.

We attempted to battle the elements and make it into the city, but quickly retreated to the safety and relative comfort of several warehouse malls catering to tourists around the port. If nothing else, I now have a cap from Nova Scotia.

I'm happy to report that the storm played out quickly and by the time we reached Prince Edward Island the next morning the weather was pleasant: clear skies and moderate temps in the low 50s. We spent the day mostly hoofing it around Charlottetown in search of tchotchkes, but also managed to make it out to the countryside to visit Green Gables.

The 19th century house, a picturesque cottage at the heart of a series of hugely popular books by Lucy Maud Montgomery, is hidden away in a stand of trees surrounded by vacation cottages and motels. After a pleasant enough drive from here to there and back, a quick visit to yet another Tim Hortons and a walk around the port, we returned to the Veendam.

The next morning we woke to a spray of water from a fireboat just outside the port of Quebec. Turns out we were the first tourists of the season and the city was offering a warm and watery bonjour!

Chateau Frontenac towers above the lower town of Quebec.

At first blush, Quebec is picture-postcard perfect. The old city is a cobblestone maze of colorful restaurants and shops, nestled comfortably below what appears to be a massive castle that, in fact, is a massive hotel: the towering Chateau Frontenac.

Wendy and I spent the day stumbling about on our own and, after a time, with a dozen or so other tourists on a mid-morning walking tour. We were rewarded with an up close and personal look at the city's colonial core, a jarring blend of stone buildings and narrow streets in the upper town. Eventually, we managed to stumble down to the shops and bistros of the lower town, the Petit Champlain, then finished up the day strolling along the northern bank of the St. Lawrence to our ship.

A day later we docked in Montreal, made it to the airport by mid-morning and were back home in time for dinner. Sir Stryker, unfortunately, wasn't around with his piano and patter to help ease our way back into the day-to-day world of dirty laundry, cable news and frozen dinners.

Welcome home ... welcome home, indeed!