Monday, February 7, 2011

Mother Nature needs to rethink pecking order

They’re back! And I thought I had at least another month before the pecking started in earnest.

It all begins each year with just a vague little sound off in the distance. As often as not, it’s a tiny annoyance that I manage to ignore until I find myself holding my breath, trying to figure out what’s going on around my house.

Something is happening somewhere; I just have no clue what or where. Eventually I put on hold whatever I’m doing and venture out into the hallway, once again holding my breath until I hear a whack, then another and yet another. It’s always a series of tiny pecks, fluid in execution, a primal act of nature.

At some point I’m able to figure out what direction the sound is coming from and then, not unlike a heat-seeking missile, I explode, dashing into whatever room my inner radar selects, whipping up the blinds, ready for action.

As often as not, the culprit ignores me all together. Generally it’s a finch or sparrow, almost never a woodpecker. Go figure! For whatever reason, the little birdie and its friends and family grow tired of the pines and hardwoods dotting my property and take special delight in pecking holes in the siding of my home.

My plan of attack is simple. Bang on the walls and windows until the feathered rodents fly off and begin pecking away at the home of one of my neighbors. Occasionally, I dash outside and grab anything nearby – pine cones, pebbles, bricks – and lob it in the direction of the birdie doing the damage.

All this effort generally works – for about five minutes or so. On really bad days, bands of birds spend the morning feasting on my home, banging away until they manage to create a foothold of some sort. By the middle of spring there are often a half-dozen holes in the siding of the house and dozens of laughing birds mocking my efforts to battle Mother Nature.

The chill of winter will hold off the annual full assault for at least a few more weeks and this year I’m gonna be prepared. I’m toying with the idea of buying a pellet gun or, better yet, a howitzer. Anyone have a decent recipe for fried finch or sparrow stew?

Friday, February 4, 2011

Taking a journey and honoring the dead

It’s Friday and time yet again for another posting of Interesting Jewish Stories & Facts (IJS&F). Several years ago I visited Auschwitz during a trip to Eastern Europe with members of my Synagogue. Here’s what we saw.

It was hot and I was tired, emotionally drained after an afternoon of touring Auschwitz-Birkenau, the Nazi death camp about 40 miles west of Krakow in southern Poland.

As I stared out across a huge field where so many had suffered and died, I was momentarily startled by the blast of a shofar – the traditional ram's horn that is sounded during Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur services each year. I turned and saw the leader of our group, Rabbi Shalom Lewis of Congregation Etz Chaim in east Cobb County, holding the horn to his lips, blasting away at the pain and darkness of this place.

Thirty of us, all from the Land of Cotton, were traveling across Eastern Europe on a congregational trip sponsored by Etz Chaim that was equal parts vacation, heritage tour and traveling marathon. The plan was to visit five cities of note across the region – Warsaw and Krakow in Poland; Budapest, Hungary; Vienna, Austria; and Prague in the Czech Republic. We would immerse ourselves briefly in the local culture and spend time wandering the cobblestone lanes and picturesque corners of these ancient and charming communities; but the focus would be on the past, the rich Jewish heritage that was once a vital piece of this part of the world.

It was understood that there was a dark, melancholy side to all of this, that the trip would carry a hefty load of emotional baggage. After all, the Jews of Eastern Europe, their culture and way of life were systematically destroyed by the malevolent power and madness of the Nazi war machine more than 60 years earlier.

The scope of the destruction is difficult to comprehend. It began slowly in the 1930s with a series of draconian measures aimed at isolating and demonizing the Jews of Germany, picked up speed with a government-sanctioned pogrom in 1938 that came to be known as Kristallnacht, and found its stride a few years later with the creation of a sprawling complex of concentration and forced-labor camps that quickly morphed into factories of death.

By the end of World War II, nearly 6 million Jews from across Europe had been rounded up and killed. In Poland, one of the leading centers of European Jewry before the war, nearly 3 million Jews were caught in the Holocaust, slaughtered by special commando units or in ghettos and concentration camps.

UNCOVERING THE PAST
Auschwitz – the German name given to the nearby village of Oswiecim after Poland was invaded and conquered in 1939 – was the largest death camp constructed by the Nazis. It remains one of the largest graveyards in the world. Nearly 1.5 million people, mostly Jews, were murdered here, their bodies and ashes dumped into mass graves.

Arriving at the camp is a surreal event. The past hovers uneasily on the edges of an expansive parking lot, hidden by tour buses, cars and tourists enjoying a quick lunch. Our group works its way through the crowd to the camp's welcome center and a bustling cafeteria, shaking off the four-hour journey from Warsaw. A buzz of languages – English and Polish, Hebrew, French and Slovak – spills about us like canned chatter from a gathering of the United Nations.

We dine on overcooked chicken schnitzel and so-so pizza, happily talking about our first days in Poland and the adventures that still await us farther south across the Slovak border in Hungary, Austria and the Czech Republic. But it's the past that captures our attention when we finally settle down inside a small auditorium to watch a film on the liberation of Auschwitz.

We begin our afternoon's journey into darkness, assaulted by images of the Holocaust – long lines of weary, brutalized people staring through barbed-wire fences; children rolling up their sleeves to reveal numbers tattooed on their arms; piles of clothes, spectacles and luggage; and piles of corpses decaying in open pits.

Back outside, the black-and-white images of the film spring to life in color as we walk toward the camp's entrance, the buildings, roads and landscape impeccably – some might say obscenely – manicured, still wrapped in barbed wire and ominous warnings of electrified fences.

THE BIG LIE
We read the same sign that welcomed the legions who died here, "Arbeit Macht Frei," work makes you free, the Nazi lie that this was a work camp and that hope still existed in a world at war. Our guide, Alicja Tarowska, points out the "b" in Arbeit and asks if we notice anything unusual. After a moment it becomes clear that the letter had been put in place upside down; a little annoyance, Tarowska says, offered up by an inmate to irritate his captors.

Auschwitz I, along with Birkenau, Monowitz and 39 subcamps, would eventually hold more than 100,000 prisoners – Jews, Russians and Poles, Gypsies, gays and others that the Third Reich considered "undesirables" – and become the graveyard for well over 10 times that number.

We shuffle along the crisscross grid of roads in the main camp with other groups of tourists, peering into barracks that house a series of horrors – the piles of hair, eyeglasses and luggage seen in the introductory film, now on display behind huge walls of glass, and torture chambers, including a claustrophobic "Standing Cell" where prisoners were forced to spend nights together, unable to move, hardly able to breathe.

I'm awake but caught in a nightmare, wandering through rooms where horrific medical experiments were conducted by Josef Mengele, the sadistic Nazi physician, and his colleagues; past a killing wall in a small courtyard where political prisoners, religious leaders and others were executed; then back into a barracks, the "Death Block," where some prisoners were held without food or water until they died of starvation.

It was here, I learn, that the Nazis first tested the toxic gas Zyklon-B, a pesticide initially used at Auschwitz to fumigate barracks and disinfect prisoners' clothes. The test proved hugely successful and offered the means for the Germans to put in place their master plan, the Final Solution, to wipe out the Jews of Europe. It was a plan that took form only a few miles away, at Birkenau, also known as Auschwitz II, a 10-minute bus ride from the main camp.

A PLACE OF DEATH
We arrive somewhat dazed, still filled with images of death from our first stop, not prepared for the brutal reality that awaits us. We stand in a parking lot, directly across from a low-lying brick structure that looks vaguely familiar. We walk toward the center of the building and see train tracks that run through a distant field, shimmering in the afternoon heat and fading in the distance.

Images flood my mind – a huge locomotive belching steam, its brakes squealing as tons of machinery grind to a halt; cattle cars filled with desperate, weary people; Nazis shouting orders and guard dogs snarling.

The scene is one of the lasting images from "Schindler's List," Steven Spielberg's award-winning film about the Holocaust, and the focus of numerous other theatrical films and documentaries, plays and novels, memoirs and nightmares. This is sacred ground, the uneasy resting place for a million souls. And it's huge.

The camp spills across hundreds of acres, divided by train tracks and subdivided by rusting fences. A few rows of wooden barracks remain, the debris of hundreds of others – each pinpointed by a crumbling chimney – stretches across a grass covered field, clumps of wildflowers jarringly framed by strands of barbed wire.

"Of course there was no grass here when the camp was operating," Tarowska says. "People were starving and they would eat it."

They were the lucky ones, not yet consumed by this killing factory. Most died shortly after arriving, ordered off the cattle cars that pulled into the heart of the camp and into lines where it was decided who would live and who would die. We stand on the spot where Mengele, infamously known as the Angel of Death, often made the daily selections, then follow a path leading to a pile of rubble, all that remains of Birkenau's killing machines.

As the war continued and the tide of battle turned in favor of the Allies, Nazi planners were gripped with a renewed urgency to rid the world of Jews. Transports increased and additional gas chambers and crematoriums – there eventually would be four facilities at this camp – were constructed.

Those selected – a brutal, capricious exercise that always included children, women with babies, the elderly and ill – were marched into underground changing rooms, ordered to strip, then locked into huge gas chambers that were disguised as showers. They were murdered and removed to nearby crematoriums. When all was up and running, 20,000 people could be pulled from cattle cars and turned to ash in a single day, a stunning figure that captures the cold efficiency and pure evil of this place.

Standing alongside the ruins of the crematoriums in the late afternoon, the sun dipping below a row of birch trees that tower over the back of the camp, our group huddles together for comfort and a short memorial service. We recite a few psalms and read a poem, light a memorial candle, and together say the mourners' kaddish, a special prayer for the dead.

I turn away, gazing across the tracks and the nearby fields surrounded by barbed wire, momentarily lost in thought about the past and the Holocaust. The wail of the shofar grabs my attention. The sound echoes and magnifies the ache in my heart and I see that others around me also are moved, a few wiping away tears of sadness and anger.

I shudder, recalling the words of a memorial plaque I walked past moments earlier and that I can still see off in the distance, resting below a tortured sculpture of a smokestack. "For ever let this place be a cry of despair . . . And a warning to humanity."

I whisper a silent amen.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Quenching your thirst and getting soaked

The lovely Miss Wendy and I were reaching way back into the, ah, vault of golden oldies recently, reminiscing about growing up in the '50s and '60s. Essentially we were attempting to outdo one another with “I remember” memories focusing on the low cost of stuff.

Wendy recalled paying only a nickel for an ice cream cone, a quarter for a sundae and a buck for dinner. I played the “fuel” card – a gallon of gas went for about 15 cents or so and you could easily fill the tank of the family sedan for under $3.

All this nostalgic revelry sent us spinning off in a different direction, however, when we started detailing the high cost of products today. There are all those high-tech gadgets – smart phones, laptops and flat-screen TVs – that can cost a fortune. Worse, a wardrobe of designer jeans, shirts and suits cost more than my first year of college tuition back in the mid-60s. And, heaven forbid, if you’re of the female persuasion, the tab for haute couture probably matches the GNP of some smallish, third-world countries.

But for sheer madness, and the point of this posting, is the handful of cash I handed over for something during my most recent trip to the Big Apple. I’ll explain.

The missus and I spent our first day in Gotham around Times Square, enjoying the sights and trying to stay warm. We managed to grab a couple of the last seats available for Mama Mia! and hunkered down with a thousand or so other tourists for the fun and funky show. Tickets weren’t cheap, but the price tag was pretty much what I expected for a Broadway show.

During intermission, I realized I was thirsty. In fact, I was feeling a bit dehydrated and decided I needed something to drink. Now I understand that it’s a given that there are certain places on this planet where it’s not a good idea to purchase drinks or snacks – airport terminals, tourist hot spots, any sort of professional ballpark, neighborhood multiplexes and Broadway theaters.

Did I mention I was dehydrated? Why, yes, I think I did. So it was that I muscled my way to the back of the Winter Garden Theatre and spotted a guy pushing a cart filled with bottled water – something, btw, I never buy. I asked him for a bottle and this is how our conversation played out.

Him: “Hope you’re enjoying the show … that’ll be $5.”
Me: “Pardon me?”
Him: “$5”
Me: “Jesus Christ!”
Him: “Yeh, I know what you mean.”

Did I mention I was dehydrated? Anyway, that’s how I ended up making one of the most absurd purchases in my life. To put this all in perspective, I crunched a few numbers. Most of us would agree that the cost of gasoline is relatively high; somewhere around $3 a gallon. It costs me about $40 to fill up the tank of my fuel-efficient car.

If, heaven forbid, the cost of fuel ever comes close to matching what an ounce of water goes for at Broadway theaters, I’ll be forced to take out a loan every week or so for about $1,200 – that’s $80 a gallon!

The bottom line? Drink plenty of liquids before seeing Mama Mia! – or any other show on Broadway – and keep your legs crossed tightly and hope the performance doesn’t run long.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Weekend weather just a tease of things to come

Mother Nature has been toying with us. The weekend was sunny and warm, a taste of spring just a few weeks after the Land of Cotton had been transformed into a frigid wasteland..

Temperatures soared on Saturday, helping melt away the winter blahs that had settled across the region. Bone chilling temps, ice, snow and freezing rain were, for the moment, fading memories.

Out and about with the lovely Miss Wendy, enjoying the afternoon sun that sparkled happily along the Chattahoochee, we were joined by an eclectic mix of folks as we sauntered along our favorite walking trail. There were young families with their young kids and children playing ball; runners, bikers and boaters; friends and, I imagine, lovers. Even the geese seemed a bit perkier, fluttering about with good cheer.

Sunday was just about the same, another day of warmth and mostly clear skies.

But it was all a tease. Monday broke gray and dismal, temperatures plunging into the high 30s, rising only slightly into the mid-40s by late afternoon. Tuesday was more of the same, including a fog that shrouded the region in a heavy blanket of mist.

Meteorologists were once again predicting gloom and doom, talking up a massive winter storm sweeping across the country’s heartland, expected to dump large amounts of snow over the Midwest and New England.

The good news is the Land of Cotton will only be feeling a slight chill from this frosty blow in coming days. No need to stock up on milk, bread and booze. That said, it might be helpful about now to remind ourselves of the promise offered up by Percy Bysshe Shelley in “Ode to the West Wind”.

All together now: "If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?"

Friday, January 28, 2011

Special day remains spiritual gift for some

It’s Friday, time yet again for another posting of Interesting Jewish Stories & Facts (IJS&F). Today let’s explore a spiritual gift that we often ignore.

Shabbat is a restful, peaceful day, a spiritual time offered up as a gift. The yin and yang of it all is detailed in the Torah and you might recall that observing this special day is one of the Ten Commandments.

Once upon a time the faithful paid close attention to the Sabbath – doing no work, attending religious services of some sort, spending time with family and friends. There was much that was good about this and, unfortunately, some bad. Across the Land of Cotton a series of draconian measures – collectively they were known as Blue Laws – detailed what could and, mostly, couldn’t be done on the Sabbath.

On the Lord’s Day, there was to be no work – or, ah, play. So most businesses, movie houses, theaters, restaurants and, of course, bars and cafes were shuttered. The problem is the Lord’s Day was Sunday and all Jews and some Christians were just about certain that the real Sabbath fell on Saturday!

There was also that little problem of Church and State – they were meant to be separate, here in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. Our legislators eventually got that part right and most Blues Laws were repealed years ago. In fact, about the only such laws remaining on the books have to do with the selling of booze on Sunday – bizarre, but still part of the fabric of life in the Land of Cotton.

I offer up this little history lesson only as preamble, detailing what was once the norm, but now apparently is cause to toss out the baby with the bathwater. Today, Shabbat is just another day. No matter one’s religion, Saturday and Sunday are days like all the rest, a time to work, play, shop and, if we find the time, rest!

There are those among us, however, who pay special attention to the Sabbath – if Jewish, they are said to be Shomer Shabbas, Guardians of the Sabbath. From Friday night until three stars appear in the evening sky a day later, they do little work, hunkering down in their homes and communities to mostly pray and study; eat, nap and spend time with family and friends.

In fact, they sort of do on Shabbat what most of us in the Land of Cotton found ourselves doing for several days earlier this month. If you recall, we had a little winter storm – snow, ice, sleet and freezing rain – that lingered across the region for a week. Many of us found ourselves stranded in our homes, unable to make it out of our neighborhoods.

That first day was fun and unique, not unlike Shabbat. It was a special day when mom, dad and the kids were forced to figure out creative ways to spend some quality time together. A feature story by a friend of mine still working for that place with the printing press, reported that all this togetherness was a good thing.

Families found that they could actually do stuff together – share a meal, build a snowman, sit together in the den and, um, talk. I imagine a few folks even prayed. The details were different, but the ambiance was pure Shabbat.

Even when it’s forced, it’s nice to know that ancient rituals are often about truth and the human condition. Our ancestors knew that it was important that we take a moment each week to break away from the mundane and explore the mysterious, spend time with one another and renew connections.

Wintry weather offers such opportunities. So, too, Shabbat!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I've eaten my way into a sugary corner

Turns out little bits of all those donuts, cakes and cookies I’ve been noshing on for years have started swimming around in my bloodstream. My doctor isn’t amused.

So to keep him happy and me kicking about for a bit longer, I’ve started paying attention to the labels on the food packaging at my local grocery store, especially the details on all those things I love so much – bread, muffins, cereal, pasta; you know, the good stuff!

My neighbor, a lot more serious about finding healthy food choices, mentioned to the lovely Miss Wendy recently that she’s come across a brand of bread that is tasty, healthy and, ah, cosmically touched. The cosmic part made sense once I learned the name of the product – Ezekiel 4:9.

I picked up a loaf the last time Wendy and I stopped by Trader Joe’s. Its name rests just under the company’s logo and name, Food for Life, and just above a dove nibbling on an olive branch. The packaging also makes it clear that the product is organic, low glycemic, flourless and all natural with no preservatives.

So Ezekiel 4:9 is all about healthy eating and, ah, scripture. The point is hammered home when actual scripture becomes a selling point on the package. "Take also unto thee wheat and barley and beans and lentils and millet and spelt and put them in one vessel and make bread of it …" Ezekiel 4:9 … Complete protein; no fat! That last part isn’t in the Bible.

If you still want more info, all you need do is flip the package around and all that stuff about “live grain” is offered up in more detail under the heading: "The Miracle of the Sprouts." In case anyone has yet to get the message, the dove with the olive branch is also back for an encore. And let us say, Amen!

Now, apparently preaching to the choir, here’s what you’ll read about the “miracle” of this product: “This unique bread is made from freshly sprouted live grains and contains absolutely no flour. We believe in sprouting the grains we use in our breads because sprouting is the best way to release all of the vital nutrients stored in whole grains.”

I have no idea what any of that means. I do know that a slice of the bread has 80 calories, absolutely no saturated fats or trans fats, no sugar and only 15 grams of carbs. The stuff also has a glycemic index of only 36 – that’s a really good thing – and, if you care about such things, the makers of Ezekiel 4:9 report “This Biblical Bread is Truly the Staff of Life.” Well, maybe.

Unfortunately, Ezekiel 4:9 tastes like roofing shingles. There’s a grainy feel and texture to it and a slight nutty aftertaste. After trying a slice – well, actually a bite or two – I found bits of all those sprouting grains resting uneasily against my gums and between my teeth. Yech! I’ll let maggots at the local trash dump finish off the rest of my biblical bread.

Spiritually speaking, this much I know is true. If there really is a heaven, I’m pretty certain only fallen angels will be eating Ezekiel 4:9. The rest of us will be feasting on Dunkin’ Donuts!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Columbus: Fading memory was once my home

Blogger's note: I came across this column recently while going through my files. For those of you growing up in my little corner of the world, I hope it brings back happy memories.

Somewhat like the fictional bar "Cheers", Columbus in the 1950s and '60s was a place where just about everyone knew your name — and what you were up to and often what you were thinking. Small town life — especially along the clay-stained streets of central Georgia — could be very special and, sometimes, challenging and difficult.

At its best, Columbus was a safe, comfortable, caring community. It was the sort of place Hollywood screenwriters try to capture in coming-of-age movies and old folks picture in their minds when they grow melancholy and start their conversations with the bitter-sweet phrase, "I remember when ..."

Columbus was mostly about the good life, a "Beaver Cleaverish" little city — at least on the surface — where the Jewish community was an integral part of the fabric of society. In the '50s and early '60s there were no malls or mega-stores or outlet factories. Downtown was a cluster of aging shops on a dozen or so streets hugging the Chattahoochee River. And going downtown was an exciting adventure. On weekends and holidays the streets were bustling with shoppers and soldiers (Ft. Benning was just to the south), working their way around cars and buses and the occasional trolley car left over from the '40s.

My father owned a pawn shop on First Avenue. It was next to Suran's Furniture Store, which was around the corner from the Novelty Shop on Broadway, owned and operated by the Kravtin family. Next door were a cluster of businesses — Blue Ribbon Shoes, Rainbow's Department Store and "Tots and Teens" — all owned and operated by the Rainbow and Shapiro families.

Nearby, on the same block, was Aaron Funk's United Jewelers, Gus Mendelson's Fox's Pawn Shop and Sol and Harry's, a hugely successful clothing store owned by Sol and Harry Cohn. A block north was Phil Pomerance's Kiddie Shop, Charlie Stein's Huddle Shop, and Victor Kiralfy's woman's store. Turn the corner at 11th Street and walk a block east past Kirven's department store and Federal Bakery and you'd be just across the street from Miller's Delicatessen, home of the best corned beef sandwich (perhaps the only corned beef sandwich) to be found in Georgia south of Leb's in Atlanta.

The city eventually muscled its way eastward, down Wynnton road where shopping strips and malls would later sprout, along with tract houses and subdivisions that offered all the modern conveniences that would come to define the American dream as the country grew and matured. It was here that the Jewish community took root, centered around Shearith Israel Synagogue (Conservative) on Wynnton Road and Temple Israel (Reform) about a mile or so to the North on Wildwood Avenue near Lake Bottom and Columbus High School.

The war and Holocaust and anti-semitism were fading memories but the Jewish community remained closed and insular. We went to school and worked with the rest of the community, but we prayed and partied only with one another. Assimilation was not yet a blip on our cultural radar screen.

So we kept bumping into the same people. We all belonged to either the synagogue or temple (some of us belonged to both); prayed mostly at Friday night services (except during football season when we prayed at Memorial Stadium on Victory Drive) and almost always ended the evening with a "sock hop" at the home of the current AZA Sweetheart — Debbie Lapides, Anita Satlof, Pat Robbins and Nancy Rainbow in the mid-60s.

We danced and swam at the Standard Club (until it was torn down to make way for an apartment complex) or the Harmony Club; belonged to both USY and BBYO; attended the AZA Sweetheart Dance and USY Building Spiritual Bridges Dance each year and traveled to Macon and Augusta, Birmingham and Montgomery for youth conventions where we met other Jewish kids doing pretty much the same sorts of things in their cities that we were doing back in Columbus.

We water skied on the backwaters of the Chattahoochee; saw movies at the Georgia or Bradley Theaters downtown; hung out at Pizza On Call in Dinglewood and each fall attended the Chattahoochee Valley Exposition — the county fair. We graduated high school, went away to college and, many of us, never looked back.

For me, Columbus today is a place that speaks of a different, somewhat gentler time. It remains only in my mind and imagination and magically in black and white photos, filled with the aging ghosts of family and friends. This is the place of my childhood, and although it has been over 40 years since I lived on Briarwood Avenue in a tiny three-bedroom home with my parents and three brothers, Columbus remains my home. In a strange sort of way, it always will be.

FADING MEMORY: Broadway, in downtown Columbus, was a happening place (photo above) in the '50s and '60s, especially on the weekends and soldiers' pay day.