My secret obsession

It's small and stylish and steady around the curves. I picked the eggshell white model with just a touch of chrome and I get a little giddy when I take it for a ride.

The controls are perfectly designed for easy access, everything in place to gently kick this baby into overdrive.

It was love at first sight.

I spotted it at Kohl's and even though the sales clerk wouldn't budge on the price, I managed to get my new Black & Decker, Automatic Shut-off, Adjustable Steam Iron on sale last month, just this side of $40.

It came fully loaded, easily able to handle the toughest fabrics, special settings for cotton and wool, nylon silk and polyester rayon, acetate acrylic and linen -- yes, that's right, even linen is no match for my Black & Decker honey.

I hear you chuckling out there. But of course you've probably never felt the smooth, silky ride this iron is capable of, steaming out every crease and wrinkle in its path.

I've taken to staying up late after my wife is fast asleep, sometimes setting aside extra cotton shirts and linen pants, wrinkle resistant T-shirts and polyester jackets. Occasionally, I've grabbed a few pillow cases and, okay, even a few pair of underwear.

There's something cosmically comforting about ironing away all the problems I spot. Wrinkles disappear and crooked pleats are straightened, collars are laid to rest and cuffs are creased to perfection. After only an hour or so, order has once again been restored to my universe.

So keep your anti-depressants and exercise classes, booze and recreational drugs. I've got my Black & Decker iron -- and life is sweat, ahhh, sweet.