Yes, I managed to drag myself out of bed before the sun even thought about peeking over the eastern horizon here in the Land of Cotton and joined Miss Wendy to watch William and Catherine get hitched. It was a splendid affair, a really good show of pomp that included a hoity-toity crowd of family and friends; aristocrats, politicians and entertainers.
Outside Westminster Abbey, the common folk lined the Mall in London, hoping for just a glimpse of the royal pair as they shuttled between the abbey and Buckingham Palace. I, meanwhile, had a bird's-eye view of the ceremony and festivities, thanks to the over-the-top coverage of the event by every news organization on the planet.
Decked out in royal blue jammies, I feasted on cereal and a slice of whole-wheat toast as Kate wowed the crowd on her way to meet her prince. Just for the occasion, I skipped my morning cup of Joe and opted for a spot of tea – Lipton, thank you very much.
There was a moment when I felt just a little out of place after spotting Will’s cousins, Beatrice and Eugenie, and the creative crap they wore atop their noggins. But I solved the problem by grabbing a nearby cap and covering it with sparkles from Miss Wendy’s pre-school art supplies. Voila, instant chic and problem solved!
Aside from all the silliness and nonsense, there were a few moments of beauty and grace, most of them filled with Kate – in front of Westminster, a gown of white spilling about her; walking down the central aisle of the abbey, Prince Harry sneaking a little peek while William stood at attention, biding his time; the royal couple sweeping through the streets of London in a horse-drawn carriage, an hour or so later joining with their parents and others on a balcony at Buckingham Palace to salute the masses and share a kiss.
Liz and her gang offered up all the lavish royal touches necessary for the occasion. But let’s be clear, there’s no question most of us would rather spend an afternoon with Kate and her parents sharing a beer than pointing our pinkies and attending low tea with the Queen!
So what’s the point? After a short nap I was out and about and turned on my car’s radio. I was immediately attacked by two loud-mouthed politicians – one blue, the other red – shouting about campaign financing. I quickly changed stations and learned that the most recent jobs report was dismal and the economy was still in the crapper. Another push of the button and I was hearing all about the ups and downs of military life in Iraq and Afghanistan and the staggering cost of maintaining troops in those war zones for the next few years.
Then I reached the BBC and was back in fantasy land, hearing a recap of the royal wedding and plans for the evening – a little bash hosted by Charles, to be followed by a late-night after-party breakfast. The whole royal thing, of course, is silly and meaningless. Lizzie, Phil and their inbred fops are, well, foppish – look it up.
But like many of the entertainers, sport stars and mini-celebs filling the pews at Westminster, the royals provide distraction in a world that often seems mad. For an instant the royal wedding allowed all of us to set aside our problems and take part in a cosmic fairy tale.
So here’s to Will and Kate, along with my hope that this time around the prince and princess actually do live happily every after. As we say down here in the Land of Cotton, Mazel Tov!